Alphabet Soup
by Yeng-chan
Summary: A series of one shots containing The Akatsuki and Sakura. Or it will be if I finish it.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Naruto. **

**A….AMAZING**

Sakura sighed. It was another long day and it didn't seem it would end soon. She just couldn't seem to convince her boyfriend, Pein, to stop working and come to bed (who knew trying to dictate the world would be so hard.). After all she hadn't seen heads or tails of him for weeks. So she decided enough was enough…he was going to bed the same time as she was and he would like it! Sadly it didn't quite go the way she thought it would. Sakura had tried ever thing from threats to trying to seduce him. Nothing work he just glowered at the threats and laughed at her attempt to convince him he would be "rewarded" if he came to bed now. That was a big blow to Sakura's ego. Now it was personal. She wouldn't be going to bed before him even if it killed her. But Damn she was tired. The pinkette yawned. It wouldn't hurt to just close her eyes for a minute right?

'_**Of course. After all what is it Lee always says? Something about the springtime of youth? Well we need to sleep to be youthful!"Inner Sakura rambled tiredly on for a few minutes about youth. **_

"Yep. We need to sleep. You're starting to turn delusional." Sakura said nervously (after all if Inner Sakura was crazy then that meant she was too. She finally slumped in her chair and fell asleep.

"_**AH. Relief."**_

Pein looked over slightly concerned when Sakura (finally!) stopped badgering him to go to sleep. When he heard her breathing even out he relaxed and smiled. Then frowned as he remembered the reason his green eyed girlfriend was in his office this late. He had scoffed when she complained about not seeing him, but now that he thought about it the dictator wanna be realized something. She Was Right. Pein hadn't spent any time with the love of his life. He had been letting his work interfere with there relationship. He sighed then stood up. Pein turned off the lights and picked up Sakura. He would be sure to spend more time with her, but first it was time to sleep. The last thought that went through his head was that he was a lucky bastard. Sakura was truly amazing.

_Please review. I am thinking about adding chapters but I want to know readers opinions first. Thanks! =)_


	2. Chapter 2

**Nothing has changed. I still don't like my vegetables, just like I still don't own Naruto.**

**B….is for Bastard**

All was peaceful for the Akatsuki this morning, or at least it started out that way. Pein and Konan were discussing the next mission, Kakuzu was counting money (when wasn't he?), Deidara was being annoyed by Tobi (poor blondie), Sasori was playing with his puppets (and at the table no less!), Kisame and Sakura were debating which fish tasted better (an odd friendship that started not long after Sakura arrived. They had a lot of things in common. Some part of Both of their bodies were abnormally colored, they both loved sushi, and both had slight sadistic streaks.), and Hidan was muttering curses while praising Jashin-sama for the food. When all of a sudden Sakura noticed her bacon was gone. If there was one thing you didn't do, it was take Her bacon. She jumped up and that was when all Hell broke loose.

"Who stole my bacon?" Sakura's voice was sickly sweet and sent shivers down everyone's spines.

"No one stole your freeking bacon you freekin' bitch." Hidan stated. (A/N I apologize for not actually saying the F-Bomb. But someone needs to censor Hidan.)

"I won't hurt anyone if you just tell the truth," Sakura said her voice getting as dark and dangerous as only a S-class nin could get," Now tell me _where is my bacon." _ "_Oh, shit_" was all they could think of. Konan sensing a the chaos that was about to unleash tried to calm the situation

"Now, Now…I'm sure that whoever took your bacon, Sakura, didn't mean to. They probably just though that it was there's. There is more bacon in the kitchen. I'll just go get you some, alright? Just sit down and breathe. It will only take a moment." Konan left the room to get some bacon. Meanwhile the males were all sweating profusely praying for Konan to come back quick. While Sakura was sitting there glaring at the poor distressed 'thieves' with a look that would have murdered a dragon from sheer terror.

"**There had better be bacon or else." **Inner Sakura growled.

"Really 'or else' that's has to be the most cliché threat I have ever heard. I can't believe you would stoop that low. But I have to admit I agree. There Had better be some of that delicious meat left or there will be a male without a manly part walking around."

Just then Konan came in looking pale and scared.

"Um…S…Sa….Sakura….there has been a b…bit of a…an issue….with the uh…bacon…." Konan stammered out.

"What is it?" Sakura was curious to hear what could possibly go wrong with the taste treat.

"Well you see….There isn't any left. Well…uh…got to go bye!" The origami master fled. There was silence while they all processed this new information.

"**Did she just say what I think she just** **say what I think she just said?**

"Oh Hell no." Sakura thought back. Then said, " 'There isn't any left'….'There isn't any left'…'THERE ISN'T ANY LEFT!" she practically roared this last part. The others flinched visibly while wisely shrinking away from the table. 'Wisely' because Sakura then through the table out the window. She then began cussing them out so well that even Hidan was cringing from her language. '_Damn. Do I sound this terrifying?' He thought to himself._

Zetsu appeared out of the wall and walked up to Sakura. The others watched with interest as he whispered something into her ear. Whatever he said affected Sakura visibly. She stopped mid-rant, started blushing, and sat down muttering about how they were all still bastards.

"Dude. What did you tell her, yeah?" Deidara was the first one to break out of the silence.

"_Simple. We told her the truth." _The white side replied.

"And…that was?" Asked Kisame.

"_**That she ate it." The **_black side stated while snickering.

The Gang took a good long look at the slumping konoichi then at each other then burst out laughing. That was how Konan found them when she dared to come back for her purse. So peace was restored in the Akatsuki base once again. Until Tobi managed to push Deidara to far. But that's another story all together.

Well I updated. Hope you enjoyed. Don't forget to review.


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